Movie Review Valerian and the City of 1000 Planets. 

Producer: Luc Besson, Virginie Besson-Silla
Director: Luc Besson
Based on: Valérian and Laureline by
Pierre ChristinJean-Claude Mézières
Writer:  Luc Besson
Cast:  Dane DeHaan,Cara Delevingne,Clive Owen,Rihanna,Ethan Hawke,Herbie Hancock,Kris Wu

Don’t see this movie.  To say that I was disappointed would be too weak a word.  And let me state for the record that I have seen some horrible movies in my time.  Movies that even a guy and his three robots heckling at the screen couldn’t improve it.  But I had hope for this film mainly because it was so very pretty.  But what it had in effects was done away with by both the plot, what there was of it, and the lack of je ne sais quoi between the two main characters.  I didn’t care for any one in this film and was embarrassed by the presence of certain actors who I thought should have passed on this particular job.  

So don’t see this movie even if it is playing for free on a cable channel just pass it by.

I give this movie five black holes.  


Movie Review: 3 Days to Kill

Director: McG

Writer:  Luc Besson

Actors: Kevin Costner, Hailee Steinfeld, Connie Nielsen, Amber Heard

Ethan Renner (Kevin Costner) works for the Agency.  Well works is a little blasé Renner is point of fact a specialist in wet work when he is at work somebody is going to die.

Only now that somebody is going to be Renner.  Renner has brain cancer and it has spread to his lungs.  The CIA doctors give him less than a year to live saying that he won’t live to Christmas.  And with that Renner is cut lose no more use to the Agency.

Renner decides that for what remain of his life he is going to try to reconcile with his family.  He has pushed them away trying to keep secret the job that he does for the agency and so he goes back home to his apartment  in Paris.  Only to find t Luc Bessonhat it has been taken over by African squatters in his absence.  Being told by a Parisian government official that he can’t kick them out of the apartment until after the winter months he confines them to a certain group of rooms threating them if they come into the rooms he lives.  Then he goes and finds his family.

After meeting up with his ex-wife and telling her of his condition she reluctantly allows him back into their lives.  However, while this is going on a member of the Agency is coming to make a deal with him.  Vivi Delay (Amber Heard) knows that from the last job Renner did he saw the Wolf a dangerous arms dealer that the CIA has tried to eliminate. But he didn’t realize who the Wolf was. Vivi offers Renner an experimental treatment that might extend his life.  The catch is that he must kill the Wolf and those people associated with him.  Renner  agrees to this and so for the next three days he travels all over Paris trying to find the Wolf.

To complicate this Renner finds that he must take care of his daughter while his wife travels to London.  Zooey (Hailee Steinfeld) is a handful who has problems at school and lies in order that she may go out partying.  Oh did I mention the hallucinations?  Yes the side effect of the cancer medicine is hallucinations and heart palpitations that can only be cured by drinking alcohol.  So while experiencing hallucinations Renner must keep his daughter out of trouble, find a vicious arms dealer and live through it. 

This is an okay film, Costner seems tired, playing this role he doesn’t have the same intensity as say Liam Neeson in the first Taken.  But there is comedic moments in the movie that for my opinion saves the movie.  This usually involves Kostner trying to do his job when his daughter calls and interrupts him in the middle of an interrogation/torture session.  The only person I really disliked was Amber Heard in this film.  She plays the élite assassin Vivi Delay as a psychotic dominatrix.  And frankly why must strong women characters be portrayed as sexual deviants?  Would the CIA really hire someone with those characteristics?

A lot of violence, some sexual scenes including an attempted rape puts this into the 18 and over group for me.  I’m giving this film 3 stars out of 5.

Movie Review: The Family (2013)

First and this is long over due to all the new followers of the blog, thank you.  I appreciate you coming to see what I’ve been doing here week after week.  I’d also like to point you to Thy Critic Man another fellow blogger who does movie reviews and in more depth than I.

Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Tommy Lee Jones, and Luc Besson you would think that with a cast like that and a writer and director like Luc Besson that you could expect a movie that you’d enjoy.  Well you’d be wrong. 

So a mafia boss and his family get moved to France.  Why? Well the long and short of it is that where ever they go they can’t help but revert to type.  They start beating people up creating scams and rackets, and just being destructive.  And guess what in this town in France they are up to the same old ways.  And it is so contrived and over done that it is a train wreck followed by a twelve car pile up topped by planes falling out of the sky.  Otherwise horrible.  This is acting that could have been performed by the local theater troupe that is comprised of the cast of Jersey Shore and snooty French Canadians.

Sometimes when I see actors of the caliber of  De Niro, Pfeiffer, and Jones in movies like these and I ask myself why?  Why did I get my hopes up, why didn’t  someone warn me that this was a truly horrible movie.  Well I took the bullet, I did the deed, I pushed you to the curb and let the car hit me.  This is a horrible movie and a waste of talent skip it put it on your list of things that you’d rather get a sharp stick in your eye then see.

I give this zero stars.


Movie Review: Taken 2

I’ve noticed something with Luc Besson films the second one isn’t usually as good as the first one.  A classic example is the Transporter films.  The first one was a rollercoster ride of choreographed violence.  Taken 1 had this same ballet of violence.  Taken 2 not so much.
Frankly there wasn’t the tension as there was in the first film.  In the first film there was a time limit that the Liam Neeson was playing to, if his daughter wasn’t found by X then she would never be found again.   Not so much here while there was pressure to help his wife there wasn’t the pressure that came from knowing that in a short time he would never see her again.
I’m giving this two and half stars out of five.