Movie Review: The Dark Tower



Producers: Akiva Goldsman, Ron Howard, Erica Huggins
Director: Nikolaj Arcel
Writer:Akiva Goldsman, Jeff Pinkner, Anders Thomas Jensen, Nikolaj Arcel,
Based on The Dark Tower by Stephen King
Cast: Idris Elba, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Taylor, Claudia Kim, Fran Kranz, Abbey Lee, Jackie Earle Haley

Before I get on with the rest of this review I would like to quote a small bit of lyric from what was arguably one of the funniest shows on TV. 

Just repeat to yourself “It’s just a show, I should really just relax”

Now if you go to this movie thinking that they have through the wonders of Hollywood magic they have been able to condense an eight book series into a ninty minute movie.  Go to another movie!

If instead you go into this movie expecting to see common elements of Stephen King’s themes in his books played out on the screen you might enjoy this movie.  

The plot is very basic. Idris Elba Is the last gunslinger charged with protecting the Black Tower. The Dark Tower which stands in the center of the multiverse preventing darkness from entering the multiverse.  The enemy of all the gunslingers and ultimately the Dark Tower is the man in black played by Matthew McConaughey.  And like I said you get references to King’s work.  The young boy, Jake Chambers played by Tom Taylor, has the shine (The Shining) and it allows him to see visions of both the gunslinger and the man in black as well as the Dark Tower.  This makes him valuable to the man in black because he uses kids with the shine to attack the Dark Tower.  The young boy escapes from the man in black’s minions and meets up with the gunslinger.  The boy then inspires the gunslinger to continue his quest to protect the Dark Tower.

This is a “western” sci-fi movie similar to Serenity and a few others.  And it isn’t the train wreck many have portrayed it to be.  I will say that the best part of the movie is Idris Elba but I haven’t seen anything yet that he didn’t impress me by his acting skills.
I am giving this a three star review see it at a matinee or wait for a second run theater.  

Frenetic Friday


And what a week it’s been folks.  Well we have a little bit of everything here even some Robotic Over Lords!

So this appears in my feed in the first part of the week

Now let’s state the obvious only one combination is going to keep you in your seat on a plane.  And frankly if the others are actually offered I’m not flying KLM I’ve been in turbulence.  But this is the best response I have seen.

HT: Doug Wilson

And then we have a new update from the culture of death featuring James Franco.

Pay special attention to Franco’s face as Princeton philosophy professor Elizabeth Harman gives her argument for aborting some babies.  No matter how she tries to justify it her argument just doesn’t hold water and Franco’s face reflects it. 

And in the culture wars a former soldier who is transgender warns about the danger of gender dysphoria in the military.   One of the most interesting quote of that article is this:

When a service member becomes nondeployable because of gender transition related surgery, they’re going to not only not be on duty in some cases, but they will also be on light duty for most or all of that time.

They’ll have a medical profile against either performing their duties at all, or one that limits them. Commanders are forced to respect these limitations. But the health and fighting capabilities of a military unit are determined by how many of its members are deployable. It’s that serious.

As a former platoon sergeant I know this to be true.

Think about that.  

And now our Robotic Over Lord’s.

First something truly terrifying.

Who thought giving the robot a sword was a good idea?

And now let us send the kids out of the room.

So there are these things called sexbots.  That apparently are being programmed to be used in rape fantasies.  And yes it is amazing just how depraved men are.  

 But riding in on the robotic white horse comes Professor John Banzhaf, a well-known activist professor of public interest law at George Washington University Law School.  He is concerned about the sexbots being used in such a manner and he wants Congress to rule and regulate the sexbots industry.  (Click on the link if you want to read the article)

Now is it me or does he want Congress to regulate a type of sexbot prostitution?  

But on another note the thought of people having sex with robots reminds me of a quote from  That Hideous Strength by C.S. Lewis:

 There dwell an accursed people, full of pride and lust. There when a young man takes a maiden in marriage, they do not lie together, but each lies with a cunningly fashioned image of the other, made to move and to be warm by devilish arts, for real flesh will not please them, they are so dainty (delicati) in their dreams of lust. Their real children they fabricate by vile arts in a secret place.”

And this ends another Frenetic Friday.

Movie Review: The Accountant 



Producer:  Lynette Howell Taylor, Mark Williams
Director:  Gavin O’Connor
Writer:  Bill Dubuque
Cast: Ben Affleck, Anna Kendrick, J. K. Simmons, Jon Bertha, Jeffrey Tabor, Cynthia Addai Robinson, John Lithgow
The Accountant tells the story what appears to be an accountant someone who works out is a strip mall and is affected by a form of autism. This  allows him to focus on his bookeeping to the point that he can take boxes of paperwork that fills a room and find the hidden accounts.  

But that isn’t all as you learn through flashbacks he was trained by his father, along with his brother, to shoot, fight, and in general become a killing machine.  His autism effects this too as his focus is absolute whether it is in placing his shots perfectly or knowing precisely how to disarm and kill a person.  

During this entire time there is a treasury agent trying to find the accountant as he is the accountant to not just mom and pop businesses but also to drug cartels, terrorist organizations, and the Mafia.  But he has his identity so well there is no clear picture of him only the back of his head.  

This is an interesting story.  I remember reading an article from Sweden on how they were using some people with a form of autism in network repair and coding as they are able to focus on the problem ignoring all distractions.  And this movie seems to build on that premise.  Ben Affleck also does a good performance as someone who has to mimic normal human emotions in order to blend in with other people.  As well as to learn how to read those emotions on other people’s faces.  

If you’re looking for action there is enough in this movie to satisfy you.  As well as some twists that you may not expect.  Because it is rated “R” it has its share of profanity and violence and is more suitable for an older teen audience at the least.

I give this movie three and a half stars.

Movie Review Valerian and the City of 1000 Planets. 



Producer: Luc Besson, Virginie Besson-Silla
Director: Luc Besson
Based on: Valérian and Laureline by
Pierre ChristinJean-Claude Mézières
Writer:  Luc Besson
Cast:  Dane DeHaan,Cara Delevingne,Clive Owen,Rihanna,Ethan Hawke,Herbie Hancock,Kris Wu

Don’t see this movie.  To say that I was disappointed would be too weak a word.  And let me state for the record that I have seen some horrible movies in my time.  Movies that even a guy and his three robots heckling at the screen couldn’t improve it.  But I had hope for this film mainly because it was so very pretty.  But what it had in effects was done away with by both the plot, what there was of it, and the lack of je ne sais quoi between the two main characters.  I didn’t care for any one in this film and was embarrassed by the presence of certain actors who I thought should have passed on this particular job.  

So don’t see this movie even if it is playing for free on a cable channel just pass it by.

I give this movie five black holes.