Movie Reviews

Yes your seeing it correctly I’m reviewing three movies. They are A Good Day to Die Hard , The Last Stand, and Warm Bodies.

Okay with that let’s start with Die Hard 5 (A Good Day to Die Hard). John MCClane is in Russia to make his wayward son Jack (who calls him John through out the movie) toe the line. And save your money wait until it comes to television. This movie is so clichéd and so phoned in that it is a caricature of a caricature. Frankly Die Hard 4 (Live Free or Die Hard) was more interesting and quicker moving than this latest attempt. There is no chemistry between John and his son Jack. The jokes are stale and the acting wooden.

Last Stand has Arnold Schwarzenegger as a small town sheriff whose town lies between the United States and Mexico. And you guessed it a high profiled drug cartel leader gets free of his FBI transport and hops into a souped up race car and makes a run for the border. And who is between freedom and prison why old sheriff Owens and his motley crew of townspeople and crazy gun dealer. This movie is tired almost as tired as Arnold is in this movie. Again this isn’t anything to spend money on wait until it comes to TV. And who in their right mind decided that Johnny Knoxville should have a career as an actor? The guy has only one character: he plays the smartest slow kid in the kindergarten. And he is at it again this time as the wacko gun dealer who carries the equivalent of a national guard armory in that old barn on his property. Not to mention a few more stereotypes, the good cop that longs for the big city action (shot and killed how’s that for big city action), the hot female cop who lusts for the PTSD vet that is cooling his heels in the jail cell. Yes he gets sworn in and becomes a deputy. The Hispanic comic relief that is the other deputy actually for as small a town as this it seems to have a lot of deputies. Well the more the merrier only there is nothing merry about this movie.

Okay the last movie is Warm Bodies. This is a zombie movie, I don’t like zombie movies with one exception that is Shaun of the Dead. Well I have to amend that list as Warm Bodies is a funny zombie movie. The two main characters are “R” and Julie. Julie’s father is the leader of the humans he is anti-zombie as far as he is concerned the only good zombie is the zombie that has it’s brains blown out the back of his head. He’s played to the “t” by John Malkovich. But let’s talk about “R”, he’s a different sort of zombie, he thinks deep philosophical thoughts, well as deep as a undead brain eating zombie can. But that isn’t the only thing he also listens to cool eighties music. Yes “R” is a different type of zombie. That is why when he meets Julie, he doesn’t eat her (like he did to her boyfriend) instead he saves her and takes her to the empty plane that he uses as his pad. There “R” tries to relearn how to talk like a human. And in Julie’s presence changes start happening for one thing his heart starts to beat slowly. And this begins to effect the rest of the zombies for when they see “R” and Julie they start to remember their lives before the apocalypse (zombie that is) and their hearts start to beat too. If you haven’t figured it out by now Warm Bodies owes most of it’s plot to Romeo and Juliet. But this humorous play on the play is worth the watch.

Ok to sum up A Good Day to Die Hard, The Last Stand, save your money and watch only if you wish to mock them both. Warm Bodies four and a half severed thumbs out of five.